Sorry, I'm back, my mother came over to dig through the trash to salvage those possessions. No, I'm not kidding. I will have a phone lecture within five minutes of this blog going live about how I am damaging my child for life by throwing out his empty Diet Coke bottle and broken Hot Wheels.
...Back to how this blog happened, though. I realized that one day, my five year old child would do a Google search on his mother. Though he will not suffer the same harsh reality that Jenna Jameson's children will, he will happen upon Hunter's blog, no doubt. It is, after all, hosted by Google. It is then, and only then, that Cole will have his "I'm adopted" melt down because upon continued search, he will realize he has no blog. He never had a blog. And that, my friends, will give him a complex far greater than any trashed two liter.
So, I decided instead of having one blog dedicated to one child, I would have one blog dedicated to the misadventures of my life as a stay at home mom. Sometimes it will be about Hunter, sometimes about Cole, sometimes about Doug and sometimes about how in our house we play "Jenga" with trash.
What is trash Jenga? People keep piling stuff on top of the trash can in the kitchen until finally, something is placed that causes an avalanche of all previously stacked-beyond-the-brim-of-the-can trash. Even then, the person who loses still tries to place blame on the person before them to pass the buck, or at least enlist assistance. What sucks is when you lose the game in the manner I did just moments ago. The only person to pass the buck to is sleeping in his car seat. I side eyed him and thought, 'Yeah, if you would have just changed it after that diaper you had this morning...' He continued to sleep, so I was left to my own devices to pick up the garbage volcano that had erupted on my kitchen floor. But, of course, someone overflowed the recyclables, so in the midst of trying to deal with the garbage, a bag of aluminum came tumbling down. Then and only then did Hunter wake from his precious slumber. He still declined to help, informing me that formula, nor bottles or drop-ins, nor diapers or wipes or any of his other expendables go into the recycling, so I was on my own. I think he mumbled something about me drinking too much Diet Coke under his breath, but I'm not sure.
So, after dealing with this whole trash fiasco, I sat down to start this blog. In a nutshell - I thought being a SAHM (stay at home mom) would be easy. I thought I'd take naps, watch TV, have play dates and lunch dates and shop all day long. This is not the life I imagined. Every day, I'm met with a new task and usually, new comedy. Since Hunter doesn't yet appreciate the irony of all of these situations, nor my best laid plans that inevitably backfire, and since Cole's not home half of the day when I do my best work - you all get to enjoy my mishaps and misadventures. Some days might be sweet. Some days might be funny. Some days I might just vent about how I hate that I live with three males (four counting the dog...) and not one of them have the strength, ability or desire to lift a toilet seat. (I'm jealous of all of you ladies who have to put the toilet seat down to go to the bathroom! I want, just once, to get up in the middle of the night, stumble to the bathroom and sit down to find that my soundly sleeping husband didn't put down the toilet seat AGAIN!)
(And please note, I love my children, husband and even my dog with all my heart, the primary purpose of this blog is entertainment.)
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