Raising Kids...

As parents, we are given children and sometimes a small skill set to prepare us, and then we are left to our own devices.  We hope and pray at the end of the day that we make the right decisions for them, that we grow them to be people who are capable of making the right decisions for themselves and that they turn out to be good, honest, loving people.  But how do we know we're making the right choices?  How do we know that we have the right answers, or if there even is an answer?  How do we take these little, formidable people and mold them into something strong and capable and honorable?  And how do we know, along the way, that we haven't made some major mistake that will impact them for the rest of their lives?

I want for my kids to grow up and share stories of their wonderful childhood, of the fun they had, the things they did and what they learned.  I want them to be proud of us as parents and to want to be parents like us.  And how do you get past this overwhelming feeling that you've failed them?  That you could have done something different, something better, something more?

I'm trying to believe that I have been the best parent I could be, and to learn from my mistakes and shortcomings and to be better, to grow and to provide more for them in every capacity.  I'm trying to rely on my faith that the Lord wouldn't have given me these children if I wasn't able to parent them successfully.  I'm trying to see things through their eyes, to teach them in ways they can learn.  I'm trying to dedicate time and effort to their success in a different and more meaningful way.

That's all we can do, right?  To learn with them and change when we see our current method isn't working.  To pray that God is doing bigger and better work in their lives than we can ever imagine.  To trust in His plan and know it is better and greater than ours.  So, with a new perspective, I am challenging myself to be more for them.

What Valentine's Means To Me...

"Sometimes, in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives you a fairytale."

I have mixed feelings about Valentine's Day.  Sure, it's nice to take a day out of the year to celebrate your love for someone (whether it be a significant other, a child, a family member, a friend or even a stranger who is simply less fortunate), but isn't love about celebrating each other and the special connection you have every. single. day?

I was recently let down when my husband confessed he wasn't doing anything for me for Valentine's Day.  Am I not a good enough wife that I deserve just one day of being counted as special?!?!  But, over the past couple days, I've thought more about his lack of action and I've come to some pretty insightful revelations - I don't want a husband who makes me feel special one day a year - I want a husband who makes me feel special every day of our lives.  And, you know what?  I'm pretty fortunate to have that.  The man I have been blessed with gets up every morning and goes to work to make a living.  He works hard and sometimes he's at work for 10+ hours, but he does this for our family, and so that I have the privilege and opportunity to stay at home with our children.  He makes sure we have a nice home, that our kids can go to a private school and that there's always good food on the table.  He does this every day, without complaining or without asking much in return.

Recently, I was challenged to ask him three things that irritate him - the only one he could think of was that sometimes I don't kiss him goodnight and tell him I love him before going to bed.  Anyone who knows me, knows I have A LOT of irritating qualities, but that was the only thing he could think of.  And I am beyond blessed to have a husband who looks beyond my faults every single day.  And since then, I have made a point to make sure I am never too tired to kiss him goodnight and tell him I love him.

I have a husband who is selling his snowmobile because he wants to devote his finances and time to something more family friendly - he wants to spend time with me and our children, even if it means giving up something that he's wanted for so long and enjoys so much.  He makes these sacrifices every single day.

So, today I am thankful for having such an amazing husband.  One who loves me, regardless of my faults.  One who values our relationship and our family.  One who works hard to provide a comfortable life for us.  And no, he didn't get me anything today - but he gives me his all every single day.  And so maybe it's not about having flowers delivered, or chocolates to eat.  Maybe it's not about jewelry or cards or material things.  Maybe it's about having someone who makes every day a special occasion in their own little way and by doing things that are often overlooked or taken for granted.  And you know what?  I'm glad I have someone like him.

I love you, Puffin - I have loved you every day for seven years, four months, three weeks and four days.  I will love you every single day until my time on Earth is through.  Thank you for being you and for loving me.

Birthday Parties...

I love to celebrate the birth of my children.  Maybe it stems from not having large parties to celebrate my birth as a child, or maybe it just comes from my love of hosting gatherings, party planning and seeing everything come together at the last minute.  But, I can't help but think every year, people open their mailboxes in mid-February and groan at the thought of having to attend yet another party - one with a theme, and a cute poem on the invitation, lots of small children and messy cake.  Now that I have two children for whom to have parties, I thought I needed to make a change.  I can't honestly expect everyone to trek to my house bearing unnecessary gifts (because believe me, my kids don't need anything else) twice a year.  Conveniently enough, exactly six months apart.  It gets time consuming and expensive.  So, I decided to use a method that my friend Tiffany (www.theirbunmyoven.blogspot.com) executes for her family, with a few of my own modifications...

She has four daughters and they each get a birthday party on their even-yeared birthdays.  I've decided to go ahead and allow the boys to have a school party every year - their classmates change and it's rare that they get to see them outside of school.  But, we're limiting family/personal friends celebrations to odd-yeared birthdays.  Of course, we'll have the grandparents to celebrate with dinner on their actual day of birth, but this two-parties-in-one-day-so-my-house-doesn't-fall-to-the-basement-from-the-weight-of-bouncing-kids thing is not happening this year.  You see, in the past, we've hosted his school party in the AM, allowed just enough time to clean up before we hosted his family party in the evening.  It's hard work and last year, being in the first trimester of pregnancy, I didn't know if I'd be able to wake from my post-pre-party nap to entertain the second round of guests.  By the time everyone leaves, I'm dead on my feet.  So, I'm treating myself this year - I'm letting the kind folks at Don Carter Lanes do all the work.  I'm simply ordering a cake and showing up.  I may really go all-out and add a few personal touches to their goody bags, but that's about it.  And I look forward to actually having time to brush my teeth the day of the party and coming home to a clean house with nothing to do but relax with my family after a meager two and a half hour event.

So, in 2011, friends and family - all we'll be doing is having a party for Hunter when he turns one (and that doesn't have to come...he can stay my sweet little baby FOREVER!)  But, if you're lucky enough to have a child in Cole's class - you might wanna be watching your mailboxes in the next week or so - we're going BOWLING!  =D