Happy birthday, "Stanley"!

Six years ago today, my life changed in ways I never imagined.  When becoming a mom, you have nine months to "prepare" for what's to come - to anticipate the challenges and joys motherhood will bring, to create ways to divert disaster, to envision what your new life will be like...and once that tiny baby is in your arms, it's all out the window.  Nothing will ever prepare you for the overwhelming pride the first time your baby walks.  You will never be prepared to hold back the tears on the first day of kindergarten.  You will never know the right words to give the answers when the hard questions come up.  You can't prepare yourself for the first heartbreak, the first meltdown or the first argument.  I was once told, before Cole could even say his first words, that being a mom is an especially difficult job, because although you get the first I love you, you'll also get the first I hate you.  That's true.  Nothing can prepare you for either one of those moments.  Nothing will prepare you for the amazement in your child's eyes the first time he walks in to meet his little brother.  If you thought you were in awe at new life, try seeing it through the eyes of a five year old.  No books, movies or magazines can ever prepare you to be a mom.  But everyone unprepared moment is so perfectly unique and amazing and worth it.  There is nothing more worth it on this Earth.

With Cole, we've relished so many wonderful moments of success and achievement.  We've grown with him and because of him.  We were "babies having a baby" when he came into our lives and the three of us figured it out together.  We figured it out because of each other.  We learned that just because Eddie Bauer makes the stroller, doesn't mean it's the best - it actually means it's the most complicated.  We learned that being parents doesn't mean making everyone else proud of your job - it means making tough decisions that will one day allow your grown child to look back and be proud of your job.  We've learned that the gratification of raising a child comes daily, but that we probably won't be thanked until he's a father of his own.  (Though, he tells me that he doesn't think he's going to get married and have kids, he thinks he's just going to stay with us forever.  Haha!)

So, today, on your 6th birthday, know that we love you more than you will ever know, Cole.  Know that you so wonderfully changed our lives in ways we could never have imagined.  We are better people because of you.  Know that you can brighten a day with your big hugs, that you so freely give to everyone who comes into your life.  Know that your witty remarks can make a room roar with laughter.  As you grow up, always be true to yourself.  Always be who YOU are.  Always laugh more than you want to, and love more than think you can.  Be honest and trust people - find the good in bad situations and have faith that is always stronger than your questions and your challenges.  Dream big dreams and watch them come true.  When the odds are against you, beat them.  And when and if the world seems to much, you will never be too big to fit in my arms, to sit on my lap or to have your back rubbed.  And NEVER forget: "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

Happy birthday, "Stanley"!

@)(*$)&@#$*))&

So, when contemplating what to give up for Lent, several ideas came to mind: laundry, dishes and housework, amongst others.  But, when I seriously sat down and considered it, I wanted to do something that would make me a better Christian, a better mom and a better person.  Was I a better Christian because I gave up drinking everything but water?  No.  Was I a better Christian because I quit eating fried food?  No.  Now, I don't judge people who give up these things, because it might take some people a lot of prayer and soul searching to abstain from such pleasures for 40 days.  But, for me, it just wasn't something I felt really brought me to the heart of Lent and what sacrifice in the name of the Lord meant.  However, in recent weeks, I've really reevaluated a lot of the language I used on a day to day basis.  Hunter will soon be at an age where he repeats everything we say.  Cole is at an age where he is learning appropriateness.  How can I expect my children to know that there are certain places you can say naughty words and not be in violation of social norms, but there are other places where it's unacceptable?  How ignorant am I to expect my children to understand and believe that "adults can say naughty words, but you can't"?

That being said, I've placed it on my heart to quit cussing.  It's taking a conscious effort to quit.  It's something that I need to pray about.  It's something that will make me and my family better.  Heck, just this morning I caught myself saying, "Hunter has a stinky @$$."  Not okay.  I quickly caught myself, and prayed for the ability to think before I say something.  But, believe you me - Fat Tuesday gave me LOTS of reasons to cuss.  I was so mad at a situation regarding our house in Florida that I said some unlady like things yesterday.  But, now I'm going to be challenged to move forward without continuing with those words.  In an effort to better serve the Lord, when I slip up, I will add $1 for every cuss word I say to my weekly tithe.  Congrats, Immanuel Lutheran - so far you've earned a dollar!

I'm going to challenge my whole family to this task - including Cole.  While his naughty words are more like "stupid" and "dumb", they're still words that shouldn't be in his vocabulary, so for every word he says, he'll be adding a quarter to his chapel offering.  I'm hoping Doug gets on board with this, too.  And, if you catch me cussing, call me out!  Hopefully I can hang up my sailor hat by the time this is over with.  ;-)

(And kudos if you got that final witty comment! LOL!)